Heaven and Hell
by Last of the Loneliness
Summary: Levi sees his squad again.


He opens his eyes and is not sure of where he is.

He can't quite make out his hands, even as he holds them up. They're faint, faded, like they aren't really there. Looking down, his legs disappear into light. He looks up. There is nothing there, just this omnipresent whiteness that presses down on him like a shroud.

He begins to feel the faint stirrings of fear. Where are the others? Erwin? Hanji? The brat? He can't see or hear anything. Is this fog? It isn't moist enough. He would call out, but the warrior in him tells him it's too dangerous.

"Heichou!"

The voice calls him and the whiteness breaks. Abruptly, the light surrounding him is golden. Levi looks for the sun and instead sees people in the distance.

"Heichou!"

They're running toward him. He isn't moving. He doesn't know if he can move. The light is flooding every part of him, warmth and comfort and the fear is abruptly gone.

They reach him. They look the same way they did the last time he saw them…the last time he saw them alive. None of them are in uniform. Levi wonders if this is how they looked with their families. He tries to look at what he's wearing, but his clothes, again, are vague and undefined. Perhaps here—wherever "here" is—it's only possible to see others correctly.

"So you ended up here too, Heichou," says Erd, smiling in a sheepish sort of way.

"He's still as short as ever," Auruo mutters. Levi catches it and intends to narrow his eyes, but he can't really feel muscles in his face. Petra does the job for him and elbows Auruo, leaving the man bent double and coughing.

"Don't listen to him, Heichou!" she says, snapping into salute. "We're glad to see you, Auruo included!"

For the first time it dawns on Heichou where he is, and then he feels like a fool for not guessing sooner. He opens his mouth to ask, but the question abruptly seems so redundant it's unnecessary. His words seem to ring out anyway, despite him not speaking.

_I'm dead, aren't I._

"Yeah," Gunter says, and the squad's smiles fade as one. "We've been waiting, Heichou."

Levi doesn't know why they've stopped smiling. The thought doesn't bother him. He feels peaceful, at long last, he is done. He doesn't have to fight anymore.

"Waiting a while, actually," Petra says cheerfully. "You're much better than us at not dying."

Levi's lips might have twitched. He couldn't feel them.

"But now you're here, we're done waiting," says Erd, turning and looking back in the direction they all came from. "Come with us, Heichou. You spent so long leading us, now it's our turn."

_Where are we going?_

"Don't ask us to spoil the surp—" Auruo manages to bite his tongue while walking, and while he's gagging around blood the rest of the squad laughs.

Levi feels his face. He feels his lips. His form is there now. He can feel his feet moving forward slowly, walking. He can feel his hands at his sides.

He can feel himself smiling.

"Come on, Heichou! Don't get left behind!" Petra urges him, running backward with a smile on her face.

Levi follows them, and realizes something. The light he saw before isn't radiating from the sun or anywhere in this blank, empty space.

It's coming from them.

He holds out a hand, as if wanting them to wait.

_You…all of you…_

They don't seem to hear him. They're still running ahead. Levi doesn't realize he's come to a halt.

_I'm sorry…_

He thinks that maybe Petra looks back, her honey-colored hair flowing around her face as she turns to him in surprise.

Then she, and the others, disappear into the whiteness.

Levi opens his eyes.

He feels the sheets on his legs. He feels the hard mattress under his body. The first thing that catches his eye is the green cloak draped neatly on its hook by the door.

He isn't dead.

Levi puts an arm over his eyes and clenches his teeth so hard that he thinks he'll burst, and he wants to. He doesn't want to look. He doesn't want to take his arm away.

He's alive.

He bites into his lip hard with the intention of drawing blood. That way he can pretend that the tears are because of pain.

_I couldn't help any of you, in the end._


End file.
